The Question

Dear Friends in Christ -

After my sermon on Sunday (in case you weren't there, it was based on the Gospel lesson for the day, Matthew 18:15-20, about what to do if a member of the church sins against you), someone quietly asked, "So, is there a problem?"

What the person was discreetly asking was whether I was talking about some specific problem, something a particular person had done that was injurious to me or someone else. In case you're wondering the same thing, but didn't want to ask, here's the answer: No. I wasn't talking about some particular problem.

Right now, here at St. Paul's, I'm aware of the occasional disagreement or frustration over something or another. "Kurfuffles" happen all the time in Christian families (churches), just as they happen all the time in our at-home families. But I didn't preach the sermon because of any of those things. I preached the sermon because the Scripture came up in the lectionary, and because when the tough Scriptures come up, I try not to dodge them. I very much appreciate following the lectionary, because it calls me to use the pulpit to talk about tough things because Jesus said to, not to "straighten someone out."

No matter when this Scripture comes up, it's always fitting. In families and communities, there are always little disagreements here and there. Sometimes there are even big ones. But if we're living out Jesus' instruction to his disciples - to speak up directly when someone hurts you, and to take others with you to try to get resolution if you're not listened to the first time (this is, by the way, as someone pointed out to me during Coffee Hour, the counseling model for an intervention) - then we'll avoid the huge relational disasters that happen when people don't talk about their hurts with the person(s) who hurt them.

This model for living is not easy. But, like anything else, it gets easier with practice. Today or tomorrow, when someone upsets you, try just saying how you feel. Say it first two yourself, then, if you can, say it out loud. Don't be surprised if the person you're talking to looks stunned or acts defensive. Most of us are so unaccustomed to hearing the truth that it catches us off guard when we hear it. But don't let that keep you from doing what your loving Lord asks you to do. The reward for following Jesus is - always - that we get closer to heaven, even when the road is rough going.

Faithfully yours,
Janet+